Are you tired, or are you lonely?
Often when I ask people how they are, I hear a version of ‘I’m busy’.
Lately though this isn’t what people are saying.
Over and over again, I’m hearing people say they're tired.
Exhausted.
Burnout.
Weary.
The kind of tiredness that seems to be bone deep and which no amount of sleep alleviates.
I started to wonder, what if our tiredness is a physical and emotional response to the lack of connection we’re experiencing?
What if we’re not tired, but lonely?
When I think back to the times in my life I’ve felt most lonely, it’s been when I’ve been isolated (physically or emotionally) from the people and places I felt most connected to.
And this year we've all been isolated from the people we know and love.
Our normal everyday connections have been transformed beyond recognition.
So I started to wonder what if what I was craving and what others needed too, was not more sleep, but more connection?
Would connecting with others change how lethargic I was feeling?
It would appear so.
I made a commitment to try these 4 things and whilst I'm not saying they’ve magically cured my tiredness (I still have 2 sleep resistent children), the tiredness feels different, I feel different.
Once a week I'm calling someone who's not in my immediate family to say hello, to share how I'm feeling, ask how they are and have a chat. I was worried I didn't have much to say but it hasn't mattered at all...what's mattered is I've called.
I found these fabulous letter/envelopes and each Monday I think of someone I want to write a letter to the following weekend. On Sunday I sit down and spend 10/15 minutes writing a good old fashioned note to them. It’s been an unexpected joy - both the thinking about what I want to say and the writing itself.
I heard this 5 minute podcast on a 7 day kindness challenge and love how simple yet effective it's been.
Each Sunday morning I’m meeting a friend for a run - it's fast become a highlight of my week
So, in these dark days before the winter solstice it does feel like we're being asked to hold still, hold on and and collectively pause.
And I want you to know, you're not alone.
Whilst we are physically separated from one another we don't have to be alone.
There are people who would love to hear your voice.
To listen to how you're feeling
And to know you're there.
It might not feel like it at the moment, but eventually, the light will return, and with it fresh energy and new possibilities that feel almost impossible to imagine.
Till it does, stay connected, we need each other.